Is your vision for the future crisp, like a sunny, winter day? Or foggy and rainy and perhaps a little cloudy? We've all been there.
You have a decision to make and your head is a little cloudy. How do you get clarity?
Do you go around in circles? Talking yourself into and out of the decision?
Or do you get laser focused?
In this episode, I share how you can gain the clarity you want in your life and 3 tools you need to make lasting change plus a bonus tip.
Get after it my friends and we’ll see you next week!
For links to everything mentioned in this episode and more visit:
What is the clarity you need to make a decision? I know for me, before I started doing the work that I'm doing, decisions are going around and around and around in circles. We talk ourselves into and out of a decision. Hi, I'm Jay, a certified life coach and former educator who believes that rediscovering ourselves takes just a little bit of courage. This show is focused on helping you develop the mindset and the courage to regain your confidence to redefine yourself and to reimagine your life, one episode at a time. Hello, my positivity posse, whatever you're doing, wherever you are, whatever is going on in your life. Thanks for being here. Today, we're talking about what is your futures forecast. And so last weekend here in Massachusetts, we had a nor'easter come through and started thinking a little bit about like how to weather people like go actually forecast that we're going to get two feet of snow or 18 inches of snow. And what does that look like? And as I started to think about it, right, as a forecast happens, like we were hearing about this for like a week out, big nor'easter coming through, but we're not sure exactly where, when or how much. Okay, I get that that's fair. There's lots of things that need to happen. And as it got closer to the weekend, they were able to pinpoint a little bit more pinpoint a little bit more and pinpoint a little bit more. And, you know, they came up with with a number like in your area, we're gonna have x amount of snow. And I started to think a little bit about like, what does that mean, for people? In general, when we're talking about like, what's our futures forecast? We do the same thing. Right? We almost wait until the last minute to actually decide what it is like, what is it we're going to do? Like, what decision are we going to make? And what impact is that going to have on our lives? That's the question for today. What is your futures forecast? Like? Is it crisp? Is it is it crisp, like a sunny winter day, the day after the nor'easter came through here? It was Saturday, Sunday. It was glorious. The weather was crisp, the sun was shining? Like the pictures that I could take were amazing because of the fresh snow. So is that your Is that what your future looks like? Is it like a crisp, Sunny winter day? Or is it like today when I'm recording this? It's about 47 degrees. It's a wintry mix. It's rainy, it was foggy last night. It's cloudy. Like we've all been there, right? We've all been there before, where some days are amazing. They're like our sunny days. And some are like miserable. And that's what decisions are like, we've been there like you have a decision to make. It's in your head, you've been going back and forth. And it's just a little foggy, a little cloudy. So how do you get clarity? When you're wanting to make a decision about your future? And it can be about anything, make it make it pertinent to you it can really be about anything? Is it a job change? Is it a relationship change? Do you want to get more clarity about how to do your finances? Do you want to lose weight, whatever it may be? What is the clarity, you need to make a decision? I know for me, like, before I started doing the work that I'm doing. Decisions are going around and around and around in circles. We talk ourselves into and out of a decision. Whatever the decision may be new car, new washing machine, a trip you want to take, we go yes, we want to do it. No, I don't know a way IT pros cons up, down back forward. Right? We don't get laser focused. We don't get laser focus when we're talking about our future. And the reason that happens, the reason that happens is because our brain, my friends, our brain is here to protect us and keep us safe. The reason we don't get laser focus is we're doing enough by ourselves. What I want to talk a little bit about today and hopefully you'll glean something from it is how do we go about bringing clarity? When we're talking about our future? What does that look like? What does that look like? For me? And if you've listened to the show since the launch back in December of 2020, I've been on a journey. You know, the journey I've been on a lot of like deep dives conversations with myself things that I was trying to figure out in my life. How could I move forward big life transition move from North Carolina, to Massachusetts. And now I'm in a place where I am. I'm really laser focused. And because I'm doing the work of being a life coach, what got me to that point, was my own journey. Right? That's the value that I have to provide back to you is that my journey is important to me. It's how I got to be where I am. Your journey is your journey. And when you start to look at it when you start to dive into it and you want to make decisions about what comes next. You need to get laser focused on it. and how that happened for me was was working with others. That was the only way I could do it. I tried it by myself it didn't work. And what I've been struggling with lately, like on my futures forecast is is the work that I'm doing valuable to others. And I landed like, yes, yes, my journey is absolutely important for others to hear, because other people might be in the exact same situation. And what I realized, right, I have a little monitor now on my computer, looking at it right now, my content is valuable. My message is important. And people are listening, when people are downloading this podcast, you're listening to lots of different episodes. And what I've realized is that our journeys, that's our futures forecast, and I've said it before, on this show, who you are today is definitely defined by your past, every single thing that has happened in your life, good, bad, otherwise, defines who you are today. But what defines who you'll be tomorrow is what you do in the moment, right now, if you're looking to make a change, if you want your future, to be different, you have to make different decisions in your life right now. And I think that's the biggest takeaway over this past year and a half, two years, whatever it may be, is decision making. That's what our futures forecast is based on. If we continue to make the same decisions, the same type of decisions, and what I've come to learn is that the decisions that we make in our lives, there's a pattern to it. And it affects what we eat, who we choose to talk to how we perceive conversations, what we think about ourselves, there's an underlying factor that determines whether our decisions are positive ones or negative ones. So let's take for example, weight loss, you decide that you want to lose X amount of weight, you decide what does that look like, for me, I've got to cut out carbs, maybe I drink less. Maybe I you know, go all protein, whatever it may be like, there's lots of different things out there. But you make a decision. And you go all in super quick. Right? You go all in super quick, and then it becomes hard to sustain. You may see some progress, but it's hard to sustain. Because what happens is, your mind gets you in a place where Oh, I worked really hard, I can treat myself as opposed to having a thought process around. This is how a healthy person lives. This is how a healthy person eats. This is how a healthy person drinks. So when you put it in that frame, right? When your beliefs change, and your decision making change isn't about and saying so I'm going to treat myself. It just in the moment. I'm going to have something that I like that I know, is not something that is good for me every single day. Yes, you can call it like people call it a tree. But when you put in the context of being a tree, then your mind wants to go back. Oh, well, I can have that on the regular. Hmm, maybe not so much. So when you want to get clarity about making a change in your life, when you want to get laser focused about your future? How do you go about it? And the way you go about it, is find somebody who can help you. And I know you're saying is FJ you in your promo in your in your bumper in in your closing you say you're a life coach, obviously gonna say find somebody. But listen, I wasn't a life coach when I had somebody coached me, I wasn't. So what I know what my experience is, is that when you have someone by your side, when you have someone who can hold you accountable, when you have someone who will say to you, listen, you have said Your future is going to be x. And how you get there is doing the work. Somebody needs to hold you accountable. It's incredibly difficult for us to hold ourselves accountable ourselves. And I said before, it's the reason is because our mind wants to take us back to what was comfortable. What was comfortable in our lives before this point. What seemed to make sense in our lives before this point, hanging out on the couch, flipping channels, thumbing through social is all comfortable, it doesn't put us in a position of uncomfort isn't even a word uncomfort of not being comfortable. Right? So in order to do what you need to do to move forward with your life. It's getting laser focus around the decisions that you make. And I've been there my friends, I've tried to do it myself. I think I've possibly lost or dropped the same 50 pounds, probably three times in my life. Does it come back? Yes. Why? Because I don't have anybody to hold me accountable. I don't have anybody to work with. And I say I don't have it's because I haven't gone out and gotten myself a health coach. But that might be very well the next step for me to continue to Help. Now, I'm on noon. And that's great. But it's not necessarily something where there's constant accountability, right? There's not a constant, weekly meeting with somebody. The reason that we're able to move forward, when the reason that people are able to make change in their lives is that they have somebody holding them accountable. And again, it's, it's, it's impossible for us to do that ourselves, we might be able to get after it for a little bit, six months, nine months, I can remember doing the Paleo diet, I cranked on it nine months, without a blip. I lost 50 pounds, I looked fabulous. But then a little bit of the Hey, treat yourself here, oh, you're going out with friends have a nice meal, have a couple glasses of wine, you deserve it. And then slowly, the old habits creep back in why nobody to hold me accountable. Nobody to hold me accountable. So here's three things that can kind of help you move forward. Okay, three things, one, believe you can change to believe in yourself. And three, believe in the process. A lot of times when we say hey, we're going to do it ourselves. It's we can believe in our we can believe we can change and we can believe in ourselves. But believing in the process is the part that's missing. Simple enough. So believing you can change is merely getting the contractions out of your life, I say that here all the time, getting the contractions out of your life, removing the can't removing the don't, the shouldn't, the won't believe that you can make a change. And when you go to believe in making a change, make it simple. Make it simple, don't don't think that you can make a huge change in your life and go and do it in 30 days. That's just, that's just not how our brains work. It's not how we're wired. So whatever you do, when you go to say believe in, you can change, give yourself a nice timeline, and do the small things, the small little things every day to make a difference. And when you do that, that's when the belief in yourself kicks in. So going back to weight loss example, I'm on that journey. Still. I'm on it now. And I mentioned I'm doing neum. And believing in myself, Yes, I have corrected kind of how I eat like I have a set pattern in the morning, snacks, lunch, I still get lost at night a little bit. But I believe I can make the change. I believe in myself because I've done the work. And I'm not trying to lose 20 pounds and 20 days or 20 pounds in 30 days. No, for me, it's a little at a time, five pounds here, five pounds, they're making the slight changes, work again to my life. And when I see the progress, that's when you believe in yourself. Leaving in the process is when you need to take it to the next level, believing in the process is finding somebody to work with believing in the process is about finding somebody to hold you accountable. And in the process is simply simply my friends, learning to change our thoughts and feelings about our circumstances. That's it. That's it sounds super simple. Oh, I just need to change how I think about something. Because when I think about something, it makes me feel a certain way. Okay, that sounds simple. The hard part is holding yourself accountable to thinking a different way to feeling a different way. Because our thoughts and our feelings are what drives our actions. And what our actions do is give us results in life. So if you want to have different results in your lives, you have to make different decisions. And those decisions are all based on the circumstances in your life and the thoughts and feelings you have around them. So believe you can change. Believe in yourself. Believe in the process. And then my friends go out and learn the process. Learn what it takes to make effective change in your life. Work with somebody, find an accountability partner, do the work. Doing the work is the hardest part. But it doesn't have to be. Now I know today's sounded like a little bit of a preachy episode. But that but that's that's for me to remind myself about the three tools for change, to remind myself about what's important when making changes in our lives. And I hope that it informs you just a little bit to think about how do you go about making a change in your life? All right, my friends, my positivity passing that is it for today's episode. As always, thank you so much for being here. Your gift of time does mean the world to me. It really does. It's what makes me go round. Like I love that people are listening to this show and gaining something from it. If you have questions or comments, shoot me an email Jason positivity on fire.com And until next week, be well be happy be you and may your request for positivity begin today. A positivity posse. If you're ready to coach yourself, I invite you to download my free workbook. Seven Steps to regain redefined and reimagine your life. Head over to www dot Jason ramsden.com backslash, my dash links and click on the download link at the top of the page. It's that simple. And hey, if you're interested in working with me as your own personal life coach, visit Jason ramsden.com and click Get Started in the upper right hand corner of the screen. I hope to talk to you soon until then have an amazing day. Positivity on fire is a production of impact one media LLC. All rights reserved.