64. Get Comfortable with Being Uncomfortable

And then I've also spent this last year and a half kind of figuring out my own crap. But I think the difference is now I'm not just I am more comfortable with being uncomfortable, which is really weird to say out loud, like, Oh yeah, I'm comfortable with being uncomfortable. And some people may say that, but are you really? Are you really comfortable with being uncomfortable? Hi, I'm Jay, a certified life coach and former educator who believes that rediscovering ourselves takes just a little bit of courage. This show is focused on helping you develop the mindset and the courage to regain your confidence to redefine yourself and to reimagine your life, one episode at a time. Hello, my positivity Fassi wherever you are, whatever you're doing, thank you for being here today. As I take a look at what it means to get comfortable with being uncomfortable. And I know you're probably wondering yourself, why the heck am I bringing up this topic? Right? I mean, being comfortable? Well, that's the goal in life, right? So why would I want to mess with a good thing? I get it, I get it. But there's a reason. Getting comfortable with being uncomfortable, is how we grow as humans. So for example, I'm pretty sure at some point in your life, you have or are or will be working out. Right you've walked you've jogs you've ran you've lifted, swam. Got a peloton, or did some perhaps Jazzercise. Okay, maybe that's a limited demographic. But regardless, whenever you've worked out, the next day, you've kind of experienced some discomfort, right in the form of muscle recovery. Things were a little bit sore here and there, you had to stretch a little bit, sometimes you push through it. And sometimes you throw in the towel, and I get it right. So trust me, I've been there, I've done that. I've, I've started and stopped my share of workouts. But what I remember, what I really remember is that I was most successful in making gains when I became comfortable with being uncomfortable. Okay, when I was being comfortable with being uncomfortable, so how does that work in our brains? Right brains, it's kind of like a muscle up there, too. And if you're a regular listener, you know that one of my repeated phrases is that our brains number one job is to make decisions that protect us, you know, they brains job is to keep us safe from harm. And anytime we feel just even the slightest bit of pain, either physically or emotionally. Our brain just popped right in. It's the proverbial airbag that keeps us from hurting ourselves. And so when I say we need to become comfortable or get comfortable with being uncomfortable, it's really some brain work, right that we have to do. And as I was reflecting a little bit here, on a recent session I had with my own mentor coach, they said, You know what, something's different. Something's different about you. Maybe it was because you had just returned from a trip to LA. Or maybe it was just that I was wearing something different than I normally wear. Or perhaps it was just that I was a little bit more relaxed when the last time I saw them. And I stayed relaxed and calm throughout the calm. Not that like when you're on a call with somebody, like get hyped up and like are all over the place. No, but what I realized is we chatted was that I am more relaxed. And I've been more relaxed. Despite a ton of stuff going on. We've done a ton of travel, have more to do. But between February and May lots of trips planned, taken and more to come. And what you probably don't know, is that coming up here shortly, actually, when this podcast is dropping, I'll be moving my daughter into her first adult apartment, come back from that trip. And then the following weekend, move my son into his first adult department. Now, I'm pretty sure at some point you in your life you've tried to move and you got to make sure you have all your ducks in a row. Well do that. Right? And then times that by two and include needing to kind of outfit to apartments. So furniture accessories kitchen, where yada yada yada. And now you have an idea what I'm facing and yet I'm still calmer than I've ever been in my life. And that's saying a lot because for those of you listening that actually know me in person. I've spent a lifetime has been pretty relatively chill. Right now. I'm the go to person when things get crazy. And I'm even calmer than I've always been. So why like what day for him in my life, what's changed? Okay, especially since a year ago, the entire family moved from North Carolina, Massachusetts. And my wife has taken a job. It's incredibly stressful, lots of hours. She's crushing it. And then I've also spent this last year and a half kind of figuring out my own crap. But I think the difference is now I'm just I am more comfortable with being uncomfortable, which is really weird to say out loud, like, oh, yeah, I'm comfortable with being uncomfortable. And some people may say that, but are you really? Are you really comfortable with being uncomfortable? And when I say that, I mean, about yourself, about what your thoughts are? How you think about yourself, your feelings? I know it's getting a little deep here. But I'm not saying that I was comfortable with being uncomfortable from day one, like from the get go from like the word go? No, absolutely not. Something I've had to work up to. And it's taken about six months ish, of introspection, working with my mentor coach, doing the work on myself. And it's, it's been a series of like one step forward, two steps back, two steps forward, one step back. And all throughout that I just had to keep remembering and reminding myself that you know, what, the steps that go backwards, those aren't failures? Nope. They're not failures. They're learning curves. They're learning curves that I actually needed to fall into, in order to better understand before I could move forward again. Okay, so here's what worked for me, I hope, I think it'll work for you. It's pretty simple. Four steps. The first is, you know what, remember what you're good at in life. And before I caught you, right, you're starting to say yourself, nope, I'm not good at anything. Before you get there. Let me stop you. You are, there's something something you're good at one thing, anything. You can figure it out, you're good at something. So for me, it's being of service to others. Like I've done that my whole life, I just want to help others. I don't know what it is where it came from. But I am at my best when I'm serving others when I'm helping others. So for you, it might be that you're you know, you're a good listener. Or perhaps you're a great listener maker. But perhaps you're an amazing friend or, or someone that people come to for advice. Okay, whatever it may be, just pick and pause for a moment. Okay, pause and remember what it is. Okay, you got it. Great. Now go and use it. Yeah, stop to use it, use what you're good at every single day. So for me, being in service of others, I'm use it every single day doesn't matter to be something smart, be something big. But I use it every day I try to fix. I try to use being of service and other to others to fix what's not working in my life right now. So if things aren't working in my life, I look at myself and say, Okay, how can I be service be living my life and service to Me? On this day? How can I be in service to others be in service to my family, whatever it may be, but I use it to make someone else better. I use it to make myself better. So for instance, say that you're a good listener. Be there for a friend or a family member, like reach out to someone you haven't spoken to in a while and check in with them. ask good questions. Listen to your friend. Do the work, do the work of what your gift is. You've got this right, then evaluate. So what's working ask yourself, when you look at that conversation, where you were a good listener, that was your goal, what worked? What didn't work? And what would you do differently the next time and kind of really lean into that step. Like step three is a big step, lean in and check on yourself. Because taking time to evaluate yourself in all situations, that's part of what it means to become comfortable with being uncomfortable. And I know that's an interesting phrase to utter. But I think it's an important one to keep in mind. And then finally, last but not least, make adjustments. If you're evaluating all that you do in your life, if you're evaluating what you're good at. Maybe you've set a goal for yourself to listen more than you talk in meetings at work or when you're with friends. But your goal is that when you speak up, is to ask a powerful question to drop the mic if you will, to make your friends think or your co workers perk up. So making adjustments along the way. That is how you grow. And that's how you get better at being a human being this four step process has been the key to my own improvement. And I think perhaps it'll be the key to yours as well. It's been the key to my level of comfort with myself. And it's the foundation that I use with my clients. Right? So here's the thing. When something works for me, I want to share it with the world. You're getting that right now, you're getting that on every episode of my podcast, you've been a part of my journey. If you're just joining me, thank you. Right, it's been an interesting journey. But I want others to see that, like, if I can do it. Like if I can become comfortable with being comfortable. And that's not easy. I've never been comfortable my own skin. If I can do it, you can do it. Like 100%, you can do it. You see, my friends, were are really just the same. You and I, you want to improve, I want to improve, we want to make our lives better. We want to make the lives around us better. We want to move beyond being stuck. And I think we want to stop saying I don't like where I am in my life right now. And I think we want to start saying I am comfortable with being uncomfortable and it has made my life better. Okay, maybe that's what I want to say. You're probably just wanting to say I like where I am in my life right now. And you can you can, you just need to be open to wanting to take that first step. That tiny step, that baby step toward getting comfortable with being uncomfortable. And that has a lot to do with your thoughts and your feelings about yourself. Trust me, trust me, my friends. I've been there. I've done the work. It has changed my entire outlook on life. And if you take that first step to trust and doing the work, you'll find, you'll find that it's going to change your entire outlook on life as well. All right, my friends. That's a wrap on another episode of positivity on fire. If you want to learn more about how you can become comfortable with being uncomfortable, you know the drill drop me a line at coaching at Jason ramsden.com. And let's connect. And finally, please remember, please remember as always, that your gift of time listening to the show means the world to me. And as always Be well. Be happy be you and until the next time may your quest for positivity begin today, a positivity policy. If you're ready to coach yourself, I invite you to download my free workbook. Seven Steps to regain, redefine and reimagine your life. Head over to www dot Jason ramsden.com backslash my dash links and click on the download link at the top of the page. It's that simple. And hey, if you're interested in working with me as your own personal life coach, visit Jason ramsden.com and click Get Started in the upper right hand corner of the screen. I hope to talk to you soon until then have an amazing day. Positivity on fire is a production of impact one media LLC. All rights reserved.