68. What You Fear the Most Might Free You the Most

Why wouldn't we want to find the courage to take the next step in our journeys? Why wouldn't we want to take a chance? Why? Well, because we're afraid and know it. That's 100%. Okay. It's because we're human. Hi, I'm Jay, a certified life coach and former educator who believes that rediscovering ourselves takes just a little bit of courage. This show is focused on helping you develop the mindset and the courage to regain your confidence to redefine yourself and to reimagine your life, one episode at a time. What's up my positivity pasty? I was last week. I hope you're doing well. And I thank you for being here today. And coming along this journey with me Listen, if you're a regular listener to this podcast, please know that I appreciate you. Why? Well, because you My people are on the same journey in life trying to work on becoming the best version of ourselves. So thanks for being here. With each week, you rock my friends. And listen, if you're a first time listener, welcome, I encourage you to binge the episodes to get a sense of my journey. But obviously, feel free to jump around as well. Whatever works best for you. Oh, and welcome to episode 68 what you fear the most might free you the most. So here's the deal. Recently, I was in my weekly mastermind group of fellow coaches, and one of the other coaches shared a fear about using social media. Now I get it, if you haven't tried something before, and you quite aren't sure how to go about it, where to start? Yeah, it can be a little daunting. So I said to them, the very first thing that popped into my head, just to kind of spark the conversation, and I said, what you fear the most frees you the most? And for some reason, this resonated with the group. And it got me thinking about my own journey. So what did I do? I brought it to my coach for a little bit of a deeper conversation. And here is what my coach said to me. Listen, fears are just like that monster under the bed when we were kids. It might seem all dark and scary under the bed. But what if you imagine that monster was Sally from Monsters Inc. When you get to know Sally, you realize he's not that scary after all. And you can actually be friends with him. And I thought that was such a great way to look at it. Especially after my coach follow that up and said, you know, fears are just an unprocessed emotions. What? Like that was a total bombshell, drop the mic, make my head spin kind of moment. Fears are just unprocessed emotions. Wow. So here's the deal. In all transparency. Listen, as a man, I'm pretty emotional. I'm a pretty emotional person. I get very sentimental, I'm super caring and kind maybe even a little sappy at times. You know, like, if you pop a commercial on the TV about a daughter and a dad, the tears are going to well up in my eyes. Like I'm not afraid to admit that. And yet, even though I'm not afraid to show emotion, I'm also not really good about being in touch with my emotions. I'm not really good about processing my emotions in any way, shape, or form. I just kind of push them to the side. Now I'll say that again. So you understand. Maybe you weren't paying attention. Maybe you're half listening, perhaps you were distracted. But here it is, again, even though you can be in touch with your emotions. It doesn't mean you're good at processing your emotions. Okay, got it. So what does this have to do with today's topic? What you fear the most might free you the most? Well, in my case, it has everything to do with going live on social media, to meet people to teach concepts I've learned in my life, teach concepts from my coaching practice and to offer value to people. When I took a really deep dive into why I'm afraid of this, also known as putting it off, finding other things to do in my days, and generally just avoiding it altogether. What I came to realize is what I fear the most is, what if people don't show up? What if they don't come? What if they don't engage with me? Now I'm not sure exactly why this comes up for me. And the truth is, it really isn't about knowing why it comes up. The more important thing is that when it does come up, I shouldn't run from the fear and the emotion that I'm having about it. Instead, I need to process it. I need to feel the fear and the emotion in my body. I need to recognize what it feels like and then allow it to pass. Here's the kicker the entire process from having the fear to acknowledging it processing it and letting it pass generally only takes about 90 seconds, what? One minute and 30 seconds? How's that even possible? Well, traditionally, that's the length of most emotions. So when I put it in that context, why would I continue to run from the fear, rather than lean into it, to listen, if I'm really dedicating my life to helping others in their journeys based upon my journey, I need to allow that fear to set me free. I need to be truly in service to others. By not showing up in service to others, I disappoint them. I disappoint my family. And more importantly, I disappoint myself. I know, we talked about being positive here and having positive self talk. And I know what I just said, seems like I'm giving myself a hard time since it seems pretty harsh and heavy. But listen, as a long time positive guy, sometimes a little pessimism goes a long way. And yes, my coach pointed that out as well. So this is something I'm new I'm working on. And it's because we're human, we're all human. So I'm gonna take a little bit of a different point of view there and take a look at what's going on inside my head. So if I'm pushing myself to dig deeper, why would I not want to face what's I'm most afraid of in regards to my business? And why wouldn't you want to feel the emotions of what you're most afraid of in life? Why wouldn't we want to find the courage to take the next step in our journeys together? Why wouldn't we want to take a chance? Why? Well, because we're afraid and know it. That's 100%. Okay. It's because we're human. And as humans, we get afraid, and it's okay, we can admit it. I'm admitting it to you right here. I am afraid of going live on social media. And it's because my brain, our brains, are programmed to keep us safe. And that's just part of life. Now, I wonder what life would be like for you, if what you feared the most might actually free you the most? Have you given that any thought over the course of this episode so far? What's coming up for you? What thoughts or feelings are you having about that? And it's okay, go ahead and press pause if you need to process it. Absolutely do that. But what are you most afraid of? I know for me, that when I started to put my thoughts out on the table, and I work really hard to be curious about them at a deeper level, you know, it helps me get unstuck. I also find that it gives me insights into the next steps I need to take along my journey. In the case of today's episode, it means leaning into my fear, in the belief that it will absolutely set me free. In the belief that even if one person shows up, if one person is impacted, it makes a difference. And I have to share the belief that when I don't show up, I miss an opportunity to make a difference. When you don't show up for yourself, you miss an opportunity to make a difference. So what fear might set you free? Is it a fear of commitment, a fear of standing up for yourself? A fear of taking a chance, a fear of letting someone down? Or perhaps it's a fear of not knowing or wanting to find out who you truly are. Now, I know I just bombarded you with lots of questions now. But if you need to take one thing away from today's episode, consider this. How might your life be different? If you took a chance? If you took a chance on setting yourself free from the thoughts and the feelings that are holding you back? What would your life be like? Imagine that for a moment. And if you can't imagine that for a moment, imagine what tomorrow may look like if you set yourself free. If you decided to commit to something, if you decided to stand up for yourself, if you decided to take a chance. If you decided to be there for someone, if you decided to find out who you truly were, what would life be like for you? I know it can be tough. It can be tough to imagine something that you haven't experienced before. But trust me when you try. That's the most important part. When you take that next step on your journey. That's the most important part. Sometimes you can't see it for yourself the progress that you're making. But if you're putting the time in, if you're putting the energy in, if you're curious about your thoughts us in your feelings and your emotions. You're doing the work, and you're making progress. Trust me. I know, because I've been there. I know that it's sometimes hard to see the forest for the trees. But I encourage you to keep working to keep digging deep to keep considering that what you fear the most might quite possibly free you the most. All right, my friends. That's a wrap on another episode of positivity on fire. Remember, your gift of time listening to this show does mean the world to me so thank you for being here today. And as always be well be happy be you and until the next time. May your quest for positivity begin today. Hey positivity posse. If you're ready to coach yourself, I invite you to download my free workbook. Seven Steps to regain, redefine and reimagine your life. Head over to www dot Jason ramsden.com backslash my dash links and click on the download link at the top of the page. It's that simple. And hey, if you're interested in working with me as your own personal life coach, visit Jason ramsden.com and click Get Started in the upper right hand corner of the screen. I hope to talk to you soon until then have an amazing day. Positivity on fire is a production of impact one media LLC. All rights reserved.