69. Being Intentionally Curious

We're not people who are drifting, trying to find ourselves. Now. I don't think that's the case. we are people who are intentionally working to create ourselves. There's no room here for wandering aimlessly. How ready are you to dive in and examine what is going on in your brain? Hello, my positivity posse. And welcome to episode 69 being intentionally curious. Now you're probably wondering what that means, but before I get into the meat of today's episode, I want to share with you a little bit about the journey I've been on. Now, if you're a longtime listener of the show, you know, I started positivity on fire on new year's Eve, December 2020. Because what else would you do on new year's Eve during a pandemic? Right. Too funny. I know that episode was about my positivity quest because I saw a need for people to have a little more positivity in their lives. People were stuck inside. They were longing for connection, not sure of what was coming next or how long they would be stuck at home. And while we've come a long way since then, and I still believe there's a need for positivity. Don't get me wrong. I think everybody needs a little bit more positivity in their lives. My journey into personal growth and development has seen me grow change. Let go, and move on. And my hope is that this podcast has helped you do the same as well. Now don't worry. I'm not going anywhere, but recently I've been getting super curious. And intentional about what comes next for me and how I can continue to provide value to you on the show based upon my own journey. Now, when I, I look back at the archives of positivity on fire, the most downloaded episodes of this show have a lot to do with change in our lives, specifically, letting go and moving on the challenge of change, setting goals, getting unstuck, and today is a good day to begin again. When I look at the demographics of. The show, the majority of you are gen X-ers just like me. So this got me thinking a little, what if the show is not really about positivity on fire, but rather being intentionally curious about how we can live the lives. We want, how we can become the people we want to be, and to see our forties and fifties, not as the end. But rather than the beginning of the second half of life, like it's not over my friends. No, no, no. It is just beginning. So how does being intentionally curious fit into all of this? First off the work I've been doing on myself with my own coach has been about being intentionally curious about my thoughts about the things that are holding me back from having the life I'm meant to have from having the business I'm destined to build. And that is what I bring to my clients and to you each week. So everything I'm working on myself is shared here in the hope. It will provide you with a sense that you're not alone. That you're a part of a bigger group of people, all wanting to live their best lives, all wanting to let go and move on. We're not people who are drifting, trying to find ourselves. Now. I don't think that's the case. we are people who are intentionally working to create ourselves. There's no room here for wandering aimlessly. So let's dive into what it means to be intentionally curious. Step one, step one is you have to be willing, willing my friends. How ready are you to dive in and examine what is going on in your brain? I know it can be scary. Trust me. I know because I've been doing the work myself and it can be incredibly freeing as well. So what does it take to be willing? The truth is sometimes it just takes being fed up with where you are in life. Sometimes it takes a change like the nest becoming empty or a relationship ending, or a health issue arising for you, for you to be willing to take the next step, whatever the step might be for you. You have a place to come. That is what this show is about for me. It was a move and an empty nest. The spark that ignited me to become willing was wondering what, what is life about what is coming next for me? What is that next step? Who am I all right. A lot of times we get so caught up in being the. In my case, the carpool dad, the lunch dad, the dinner dad the grocery dad the finance dad, that the person who did logistics, the parent who kind of took care of all of that. That was my role. And now that it's done, what's come next for me. Like that's how I identified myself. I was the dad who helped the dad who took care of things.. And you might be the mom, or you might be the partner or, or the spouse who does all of that, whatever it may be. My question is, does that sound familiar to you? Are you in a similar situation? You've had something come up in life where you said, you know what enough is enough? I've got to figure out what comes next. I need to make a change. And if that's the case, you're in the right place, you've been in the right place. That's what this show has been about. Step two is about being curious in my own work with my coach and in my work with my clients. Being curious about our thoughts is the key to unlocking and understanding how the actions we take, create the results in our lives. And more importantly, examining and facing the feelings we have about our thoughts is what doing the work is all about. Okay. Think about it this way. Let's say you're in a relationship and things just aren't going well, maybe your spouse or partner says something off the cuff and you take it as directed at you. Your initial thought is that it was directed at you. That you start to have feelings about that. Maybe you get angry, maybe you get sad. Maybe you have both feelings, whatever you're feeling that drives your actions. Maybe you yell at your spouse or your partner, maybe you withdraw, maybe you disengage, or maybe you cry. Maybe you throw something or maybe you start to binge eat or to start to binge drink, whatever it is, your feelings in that moment directly affect the actions you take. Next, when you get curious about your thoughts and your feelings, you can start to get intentional about your actions and that's step three, being intentional. So, how does this work? The being intentional part. How does that work for starters? It's about taking time to examine your thoughts and feelings from a neutral place, from a place of it's. Okay. This happened. So let me find out what is happening here. We don't take a look at it from why is this happening? The truth is the why really isn't that important. The why wants us to go back in time. That's not what we're going to do. Rather. We're going to look at the, what the, what allows us to take a neutral look at the situation. What was I thinking in that moment? What was I feeling? How could I've thought something different? How could I felt something different if I thought that the comment was directed at me, but instead of just a comment, just a general comment, how would I feel?. If I thought the situation was about my partner or spouse's stress at work and nothing to do with me, how would I feel what I have compassion for them instead of being angry at them, if I felt compassion, how would my actions have been different? What would I have done? What I have asked the questions and just listen to learn more. And if I look at the compassionate route, would the relationship be better. You need to examine your situations and ask yourself different questions, but these examples should help you understand what it means to be intentional about examining your thoughts and your beliefs. Now I've come to learn that being intentionally curious is the key to unlocking the door to the next version of ourselves. Being intentionally curious is like being shown the way when you're lost.. Being intentionally curious is what it means to do the work on ourselves. And I hope you will take the time to be curious about your thoughts and feelings as you move through life. Being intentionally curious. My friends is the next step in our journeys together. If you have been here with me along the way, you know that I have been on a journey of growth and develop. You've been there for it. You've listened to the episodes. And if you're new to the show, that's what this has been. It's been my journey in an effort to help you. And I hope you'll take the next step. I hope you'll take the next step to continue to be curious, to continue to be intentional, to examine your thoughts, to examine your feelings, to figure out how you can become the best version of yourself as you move through the next phase of your life. And I'm here to help, whatever you need. Reach out. You can find me at info@positivityonfire.com. You can find me at coaching@jasonramsden.com. Whatever it may be. I'm here for you, my friends. All right, that's it for this week. Remember your gift of time. Listening to this show means the world to me, and remember, be willing, be curious and be intentional. And until next week, keep doing the work you've got this.