47. Live Authentically with Michelle Simms-Reiter

Michelle Simms: 0:00

Then what are you going to do with your minutes? Are they? Are you going to be stressed out over something that doesn't even help you stay on track toward your goal? Or are you going to put your time and energy into something that you can go to sleep that night and look back and go, Oh my gosh, look at what I accomplished. Hi, I'm Jason Ramsden, and I believe we can all work on leading a more positive and intentional life. And this show details my journey by sharing my learning stories and conversations with guests. If you want to lead a more intentional life, focus on being the best you possible. Please subscribe today. Now, let's get into today's episode.

Jason Ramsden: 0:37

Positivity bossy, I have a question for you. How do you live life? authentically? How do you make the most of your time and what motivates you in life? Today's episode with Michelle Sims, an entrepreneur and business coach is one focus on living life authentically. Getting the most of each day and being true to who you really are. As you prepare for 2022 This episode has a lot of takeaways for you to consider. Well, Michelle, welcome to positivity on fire. So happy to have you here today. Thank you. Thanks for having me. I'm super excited to be here. I'm excited for the conversation. For someone who like built a business basically from nothing at a time where it wasn't great to do it right in the middle of a recession, and then to watch it grow like exponentially and in 10 years, and then decide, You know what, I'm gonna do this next thing in my life, I'm going to become a coach for entrepreneurs and business folks. And just tell me a little bit about like, what that's been like, the last 10 years of your life to like, go and then pivot.

Michelle Simms: 1:45

Maybe I'm crazy. Yeah, so I mean, thank you for that I probably a lot of people are thinking that, but it's really the it's been the best path that I could have ever taken. I can't imagine having taking a different one. I loved what I was doing. I loved home building. I had been in it already for so long. And so it was already a passion of mine. And I knew one day like way, way, way in the future. Maybe when I'm ready to retire, I would start a homebuilding company. So I always knew it. And I was very well networked. And I knew a lot of people. And the moment an opportunity came up, somebody asked me and I was like, oh, gosh, I wasn't really planning on this yet. But sometimes that's like the universe knocking on your door saying, this is the time you've been saying it. Why do you have to wait? And I just jumped in? And it was scary. Yeah,

Jason Ramsden: 2:42

I bet. I bet. I bet it was scary. When you look back at that you look back at that awkward that opportunity that time. And you look at what you're doing now. Like how does it all come together in a life motto for you?

Michelle Simms: 2:54

Not that I'm perfect. And I think we're always evolving and growing all the time. But to me, it's about authenticity. Stop trying, if we can just remind ourselves to stop trying to be who we think other people want us to be. It changes your whole life, it is the most freeing and empowering moment when you really can realize that you just get to be yourself. Just be who you are.

Jason Ramsden: 3:20

Well, who are you? Then what? You put it on the table there, I have to ask the question, Who are you, Michelle?

Michelle Simms: 3:27

Thank you for asking. That's so great. You know, I, I really came from a very simple background. And I never want to forget that. And my family likes to remind me of it all the time. It doesn't matter what you've accomplished in your life. At the end of the day, I came from a very, quite frankly, a poor background. And I didn't even see the value in education because anybody who left for college came back to our tiny little town that had a terrible economy. And unfortunately, they all ended up becoming bank tellers or substitute teachers or being unemployed altogether. And they weren't making any money. And they never got jobs. And so for me, it didn't even look valuable to me to invest in myself from an educational standpoint, until I left my small little town and realized how much opportunity there was and how I was really selling myself short to not invest in myself in the best way I could. So I invested in myself educationally much later in life than most people did. And for sure, it was school of hard knocks and I had to work a lot harder than I would have if I had just got finished that college degree at the time. And that's okay with me. I'm here now. So you know, that's our story. And that's the way it goes sometimes and that's okay. Doesn't have to go the way everybody thinks it will go.

Jason Ramsden: 4:52

No, absolutely. And I love the point about you invested in yourself later. I think we shouldn't be investing in ourselves all the time. Right? But it's not like you go to college and you get a job, and then you, you know, go off and do a career, you should be constantly learning and growing. So when you when you think about that constantly learning and growing, what's the biggest motivator in your life right now,

Michelle Simms: 5:14

I think because I didn't give myself that gift nearly enough at a younger age now that I know what could what everything that's out there, I actually probably spend more on it, both in time and in money investing in myself now than I ever have in my life. And it's because I just have a complete thirst for wanting to know more, and helping other people in any way that I can. So whenever I can do that, and expose myself to others and bring value to them, it just is that's my passion. That's what I love to do.

Jason Ramsden: 5:48

fits right in with this show with my you know, my passion is impact one or impact 1 million doesn't really matter, like impact impact. When you when you think about that, and you talk about investing yourself, Where where are you investing in yourself right now?

Michelle Simms: 6:02

Yes, I, I actually have really pursued my this coaching and developing of other people business that I've started is really where my main focus has been. And the funny thing is, is that the only way you can do a good job of helping others is to have done it yourself. And so I just invest a tremendous amount of time, I actually have a coach myself, I do a lot of self coaching for myself in journaling, and meditation. Now, a lot of things I didn't incorporate into my life in the past, which is regrettable, but doing it now. And I really feel like the more I can bring of myself in, the more I can dig into myself, the more I can help others around me do the same for themselves, and hopefully avoid some of the mistakes that I've made

Jason Ramsden: 6:49

mistakes. Yeah. That's how we learned No, right. It's how we learn. Don't make different ones. That's right. It's gonna make mistakes. But I love that you bring that up. And, and it's, it's almost a shame, because I'm in the same spot, right? I had a coach who worked through certain things with me stop. Now I have a mentor coach helping with my business and been meditating for almost an entire year now, like every single day, haven't missed a day. And it's, it's almost a shame that we come to it later in life, as opposed to kind of doing it in the front end, you had mentioned, you know, education in the front end, as well. But to like, have your mind just be totally open to the possibilities of what it's like when you really invest in self. We spend so much time working for organizations that want to invest in us for their purpose, right, not making you a better person, per se are better at what you do. It's interesting that we get to that point in life. And that's where we are right now. Tell me about your coaching experience. What has it been like to have a coach? And what are they doing for you specifically?

Michelle Simms: 7:56

Yeah, right. Thank you, I'm so glad you just shared what you did. I actually have a coach right now, who's helping me work through just deep diving into myself and understanding why some of the things I'm doing right now have served me so well, but aren't necessarily going to serve me as I move forward and just get the blocks out of my way. Because I feel like we always have it. It's a journey that we're working through. But I'm so glad you brought up what you did about companies. One of the mottos I had when I was running my own business, is that recognizing that the best way to impact your business and the margins and the profits of the business is to allow people to be as healthy and as highly functional as they can be. And the best way you can do that is to invest in them in all possible ways. And make sure that they are healthy and happy and help them become the people they want to be help them recognize their strengths, help them be okay and accepting of their weaknesses, and their failures and mistakes, as you said. And if you can help people develop themselves and allow them to be all of who they are, and be accepted for the strengths and the weaknesses, they're going to thrive in their environment. And that can only impact the bottom line of a company positively. And so that's always been my motto. And now my passion is truly to try to bring that to companies now. That's why I'm a business coach and not any other type of coach right now. Because I know that that could be so helpful to the cultures of business right now.

Jason Ramsden: 9:35

Especially coming out of what we're coming out of right. And to figure out, what is it like, what are we going to be as a company now? How do we meet the needs of our employees that are starting to realize that it's more than just the bottom line? Right? You have to look after the people as well. And so how do you do that on the daily like, what does that look like for you?

Michelle Simms: 9:55

Yeah, I mean, I know it sounds really crazy and simple, but really just saying hello from a very genuine place and stopping in to your, to your off to the offices of the people. And if they're not in the office right now, then on Zoom or on a phone call to truly go out of your way, and just hey, how are you doing? What's going on everything? Okay? Is everything working? Well, what's not working? Well, it doesn't take very long to do that. But the impact of it is tremendous for employees and any people, all the people. They want to know they're seen and heard and that somebody's thinking about them and cares,

Jason Ramsden: 10:33

if companies are starting to learn that type of program progress, you know, helping people become better people. If you look back at this past year, what's one thing you've learned about yourself? I mean, if we're trying to get companies to help people learn about themselves, what's one thing you've learned about yourself this past year,

Michelle Simms: 10:53

I'm going to put myself out really out there right now back to my authenticity,

Jason Ramsden: 10:57

are you better?

Michelle Simms: 10:58

I know, I have to have to be an example of what I'm speaking, I have learned that I tend to get really passionate about what I'm talking about, to the point where I get a little luxury.

Jason Ramsden: 11:12

Oh, yeah, I get that.

Michelle Simms: 11:13

And yeah, not everybody wants to be told what to do, which was shocking to me. If only, you know, I realized that my energy is wonderful. And people need to hear it in a way that's really important to them and applies to them. And from, from a perspective, that really can they can feel it in their heart, and they need to feel it that way too. And it needs to connect for them. And I, my work this year is really working to connect with people to ensure that the way I'm communicating my message is the way they need to hear it and they want to hear it.

Jason Ramsden: 11:53

Now that makes sense, right? People want to work with people where they feel a connection. Yeah. And so if we spend too much time trying to really say, Okay, here's, here's what you can do, here's how you can prove like, it's really easy steps, you got to take care of yourself, you know, if you start to meditate, if you start to do some self discovery work, you're going to see changes. But if that's all they hear from you, as opposed to like how it's helped you move forward, it's a little bit hard for them to see themselves in you are in what you have to offer. So if you look at that as a challenge, how are you trying to be more authentic for people you're trying to connect with?

Michelle Simms: 12:34

Yeah, and it's a great example, because I think I in my past life was such a good trainer and a presenter of information, that it's not the same coaching is about helping somebody else discover their what, what works for them, what helped them become inspired, based on their history, their story, and what they want to accomplish. And I am just truly enjoying the process of learning how to do that best and maneuvering through that and helping somebody see their own mind and helping them see what's in their way. Because it might be different than someone else's. And that's how I'm connecting. And I think when you do that, and when you have that connection with somebody, it is really something that's just very genuine and special. And rare. Unfortunately, too. True.

Jason Ramsden: 13:26

True. Yeah. It's, it's, you brought it up earlier. It's amazing what happens when you do become your authentic self. Right. And you have the courage to take that first step. You know, sometimes people say, oh, you know, a journey of 1000 steps starts with the first step. And I always say, No, it doesn't, it starts with the courage to take the first step. And so when you when you have the opportunities to start looking at yourself, so how can I be better at what I do? How can I make a difference? What can I bring to this world? And when you realize, hey, I have so much to offer that I didn't realize I had to offer then stuff starts to change, right? There's the become this authentic person who people can see more clearly. And so when you think about that, what would you do differently? If you knew nobody would judge you?

Michelle Simms: 14:21

Besides eat Doritos on the couch all day? Because I do love Doritos. I talk about them a lot. Unfortunately. No, I don't eat Doritos anymore. But

Jason Ramsden: 14:31

that's gonna be cool. rants are regular like,

Michelle Simms: 14:34

oh, cool rants for sure. Um, yeah, great question. I, if I knew nobody would judge me. I don't know that I would. That necessarily is the limiting factor. But this goes this goes into maybe a whole other topic. I have always been. I've always been a lover of music and very interested in music and I think I think I would, I would just follow bands for a couple years. Just go just go travel and watch people play and listen to music for a couple years.

Jason Ramsden: 15:12

Do you have a couple? Like, no, it's not crazy. That's the purpose of the question like, What would you do? What would? What would be a couple of them? You have, oh

Michelle Simms: 15:22

my gosh, well, I love all music. So I, I'm a big fan of like Eric Clapton and deskey trucks, and definitely, you know, newer music as well. But I don't know, maybe I would just go from city to city and figure out well, who's playing and just go to whatever, whoever happens to be playing there. That could be fun,

Jason Ramsden: 15:43

interesting way to look at it. Right? You get an adventure. And as opposed to falling one individual person. So like, yeah,

Michelle Simms: 15:50

wherever I want to go. I'll just pick somebody to go see. For for a while. Yeah, that'd be a lot of fun would

Jason Ramsden: 15:57

be a lot of fun. I think that's a good analogy, too, about like people's paths, right? Instead of saying, Hey, I'm going to follow this one path, to equate it to following one person, you know, one band? Yeah, no, I'm going to take a different path. I'm going to go city to city and just see who's there? And who, who kind of shows up. So yeah, I think what's what's what's one thing that you've always wanted to do that you haven't done before? Oh, gosh, we're big history of things that you have done. But what's one thing you haven't?

Michelle Simms: 16:29

Well, I've never actually learned to play an instrument. So I just told you how much I love music. And I have never officially learned how to play the piano or the guitar, although I do own both of those instruments right now. And they are just waiting for me and have been calling for a couple of years now for me to come and play them. And I you know, I decided that sometimes you just have to constrain you can have all the things in life, but you can't necessarily have it all at the exact same time. So I'm going to go work on getting kids off to school, focus on business focused on family focus on some of the other important things and that that'll come I think it's going to be on the list sooner than later

Jason Ramsden: 17:07

rather than later. So what would it take? What would it take to learn the piano?

Michelle Simms: 17:11

I think a lot of hours of practice, I want to commit myself to it. I really want to put all of my energy into focusing on it and not skipping and not making excuses. So I think I'm procrastinating it because I'm waiting for the right opportunity.

Jason Ramsden: 17:29

Opportunity. Okay, that's having to take on a lot of things. Yeah. Yeah. But you don't strike me as somebody who waits for the right opportunity.

Michelle Simms: 17:38

No, that's true. That's a good point. I think I just know my I'm getting to know myself a lot better and realize that rather than try to put too much on my plate that I know, I can't truly commit to I'm going to be very deliberate in what I put on my plate and give it all my attention and be happy about that.

Jason Ramsden: 17:55

Oh, yeah. I like that. That's, that's wise. It's wise.

Michelle Simms: 18:00

Not very adventurous, but

Jason Ramsden: 18:03

okay, you know yourself, you know, your limitations. And that's important, too.

Michelle Simms: 18:06

I do the piano will come I can see it.

Jason Ramsden: 18:09

What are you doing for professional development these days? What are you reading? What are you listening to?

Michelle Simms: 18:14

Oh, my gosh, that is a great, so. So I am. I am a product of The Life Coach School. So Brooke Castillo is my mentor, and I follow her and I watch I listened to her podcast all the time, I follow Brene. Brown constantly. I am on the TED Talk recommendation list. So anytime they send me what they think I should be listening to I check that out and see if that's something I should listen to.

Jason Ramsden: 18:37

What's what's what's been like your most favorite podcast or story that you've heard recently, or anything that's been compelling for you? Oh, gosh,

Michelle Simms: 18:46

um, you know, I actually started listening to Tony Robbins just recently, you know, I have never been a follower of Tony Robbins. And I thought, you know, I really feel like there's probably something I could gain from him. So I've actually been listening to a few of his old podcasts lately. Wait, go with his videos? Yeah.

Jason Ramsden: 19:09

Has there been one takeaway that you could share? I think

Michelle Simms: 19:13

that hit the power of positivity in his energy. And really, I love that he truly requires people to stand up, get in the physical mode of being in the situation that they want to be in and put themselves in that place so that they can create the that energy and those feelings in their life so that the action feels so attainable to them. That was probably the most impactful thing to me. I definitely am a believer that our thoughts and our in our beliefs, motivate and fuel our actions. And I think when those are feel unreachable to us, that getting into that action mode can help us create and inspire a lot that fuel in those thoughts. And that was probably one of my biggest takeaways is that you don't always have to wait to change your thought. Sometimes you can just get into action, and that will motivate and fuel you toward it.

Jason Ramsden: 20:12

Sometimes action will help you have the right thoughts in the right direction. Yeah, I agree with that. 100%. Absolutely. So when you when you think about being a coach and helping other people, one of the things I like to talk to people about is like progress, not perfection. What does that look like when you're mentoring somebody? From a business perspective?

Michelle Simms: 20:37

Mm hmm. Yeah, great question. I, as I kind of mentioned earlier, you know, whether it's business or life, issues with your mom issues with your children, your husband, any whatever it is in your life, it's going to affect your business. And so somebody may be hiring me to talk about business, and we might spend a good majority of our time really working through, you know, what does failure look like? What's preventing you from moving forward? What kinds of things have happened to you before that have helped you create some evidence that that's not something that you're going to be capable of doing now, we work through all of those things. And when we do, that's when we usually uncover that it's our whole life that has created who we are showing up in business right now. So talking about your life, your relationships, those are usually your biggest work. And if you can overcome a lot of that, you're gonna be unstoppable in business to and most people don't connect the dots there.

Jason Ramsden: 21:38

I love that. Yeah, it is, we are a whole person, right? We bring what we bring to the workplace, comes from home, right? People want to people want to say, Well, no, I have like, my work. My work life and my my personal life are separate. Yeah, that's not really true, right? It's not really true, you are a person you have going on outside of work is always going to affect what you have going on in work. So how do you help somebody? kind of you know, we talk about positivity all the time, right? And so how do you help somebody who says, Well, I'm just not positive? Like, how do you help them get over that hurdle?

Michelle Simms: 22:13

Yeah, I think, for me, I try to focus on spending time asking people how they do feel, on average, in a typical day, were the three emotions that you usually feel in a day. And most of my clients are familiar with me asking them this question. And if two of them if two of them are fairly negative anxiety and stress, and in one might be mediocre, like, Rachel, it's really a matter of digging into what's causing all that stress and anxiety most of the time. that's preventing you if you can feel negative, then you absolutely can feel positive. You're certainly not neutral.

Jason Ramsden: 22:53

Absolutely. Yeah.

Michelle Simms: 22:54

There's no in between. Yeah. So I have a hard time i don't i don't really buy the story, that they're not positive if they can, if they're capable of feeling negative.

Jason Ramsden: 23:04

It's just a different, a different outlook, right? It's a different it's a reframing of thinking, I think people to get stuck with limiting beliefs about what it is that's causing the negative thoughts in their life, right? So limiting beliefs are a huge part of coaching people through hurdles, right. Because those limiting beliefs are blocks, blocking them from, from seeing whatever it is that they may need to accomplish in their life, whatever they it is that they need to kind of move forward in the next phase of their life. And so what are some of the things that you like to do with clients to help them around that?

Michelle Simms: 23:39

I think first it's it is a matter of digging into what's causing the negativity, because I do firmly believe that helping to kind of alleviate stress and anxiety and frustration is a big part of that beginning. And then I do ask them, what are what are the most important things in your life? What brings you joy and happiness? What are the things? Why are you even here? Then? What do you get up every day? For? Who is it? What is it? Is it your dogs? Is it money? Like which one? Which what is it?

Jason Ramsden: 24:11

Wait, what is it at a core?

Michelle Simms: 24:12

Yeah, that's right. And when we can figure out what what a motivator is for somebody and really plug into their priorities and what their values are, and what does make them tick and motivate them each day. It's just a matter of finding those things and helping them plug into that even more in their day. And really preventing those blocks from getting in the way and interrupting that.

Jason Ramsden: 24:34

I work with my clients on trying to get them to focus on their character strengths. Not that they're a good communicator, or a good listener, like at a core, what are your character strengths? Because you're always going to fall back on those right? And if you can, again, use the term plug in, if you could plug into your character strengths, you're going to start to open up so many more avenues for yourself. So I really like that. Oftentimes, though, it's hard right? It's hard for people to kind of get over over that hurdle, they have this block, or they have a difficult decision to make. What's one of the most difficult decisions that you ever had to make?

Michelle Simms: 25:08

For sure, starting a business in the middle of a recession, and together with leaving a corporate job that had an excellent salary during a time when I was there was so much uncertainty and fear. You know, certainly it could have, it could have been the biggest failure on the planet that if that had happened, right, and the market had crashed since then, so not getting another job would have made kind of made it double work, you know, even worse. So it definitely was one of the biggest decisions. And I also going back to what you just said, I really had to prioritize what is the most important thing to me? What do I value the most in my life. And at that time, my time with my two year old at the time, was one of the most important things in my life, and working 80 hours a week in the corporate job, no matter how much money it was, was not worth it to me. So what seemed like a crazy decision, probably the most, and certainly a hard one to make, was also one of the best ones I ever made, even if it hadn't worked out. Because going on that train was not the one I wanted to stay on no matter what it was not aligned with my priorities. And that's really where I spend a lot of time with my clients, whether it's in business or in life, what are the priorities first? And do they align are the decisions you making, you are making every day aligning with that?

Jason Ramsden: 26:40

That's spot on. It's exactly where people need to be right, aligning your priorities in your life with what you want to do with your life.

Michelle Simms: 26:48

I get really passionate about time I I've said it so many times that I am. It is it is a scientific fact, a mathematical fact that we all have the exact same number of minutes every single day, no matter what your culture is, no matter where on this planet you live, no matter what religion you are, or what color skin you have, you can't steal it, you can't bribe anyone for more. You can't give it away, like you get to have it and there's nothing you can do about it. And then, so it's the biggest equalizer, right? And then what are you going to do with your minutes? Are they are you going to be stressed out over something that doesn't even help you stay on track toward your goal? Or are you going to put your time and energy into something that you can go to sleep that night and look back and go, Oh my gosh, look at what I accomplished. And if I can keep doing this look where I will be a year from now, five years from now? And that's my motivator? How am I spending my minutes? And it's okay to sit down on a couch and watch Netflix if that's what you want to do. There's nothing wrong with that. It's just a matter of choosing and being aware of where you spend your time.

Jason Ramsden: 28:03

I think that's great. I think that's great. As we get ready to close, I'm curious. We've covered a lot of things in this episode so far. What's one thing people don't know about you, Michelle?

Michelle Simms: 28:13

Oh, gosh, um, well, some people know but a lot of people don't know that. I you know, my love for music. Tying back to that is I always wanted to be in a rock band Jason.

Jason Ramsden: 28:26

Though, it's gonna take some time.

Michelle Simms: 28:28

It's gonna take some time, although I do like to sing. And that's something I do really enjoy doing. And I was actually for one year of my life in a rock band. We were a GarageBand. It lasted for a year, we played one gig. I made$100. And then the band broke up.

Jason Ramsden: 28:48

What was the name of the band?

Michelle Simms: 28:51

Shades of Grey, I think was the name of it. We did even have some photography photography session. We met twice a week. We had a great time. We had so much fun and I made some great friends. But that was the end of it didn't go anywhere any further.

Jason Ramsden: 29:07

From from Rockstar super potential to actual superstar in the business world. It's come full circle. I appreciate it.

Michelle Simms: 29:17

It works. Yes, it worked. Thanks for having me. Yeah.

Jason Ramsden: 29:21

I'm excited to have had this conversation with you. If people want to be able to find you online. If they want to connect with you. How can they do that? Yes, thanks.

Michelle Simms: 29:30

That is strive coaching studio, and I am on Instagram and Facebook and I have a podcast as well on iTunes and Spotify and all the places and I would love to connect with them. I actually have a monthly membership and I have personal one on one.

Jason Ramsden: 29:48

I'll make sure to put that all in the show notes so people have it as well. And I really appreciate you being here today.

Michelle Simms: 29:55

Thanks, Jason. I loved it. So much fun.

Jason Ramsden: 29:58

Thank you Here are three things I learned from my conversation with Michelle today. One, thoughts and beliefs, motivate and fuel our actions to always be aware of your energy and how it affects others. And three, the power of coaching is forward focused and is always about what works best for the client. My friends, if you liked today's episode with Michelle Sims, please give us a five star rating wherever you listen and please share this episode as word of mouth is the only way this shows message grows. And finally, as I close every show, thank you for being here today, my friends, your gift of time listening to this show does mean the world to me. And as always be well be happy, be you. And until the next time, may your quest for positivity begin today.

Michelle Simms: 30:51

That's right, and when we can figure out what a motivator is for somebody and really plug into their priorities and what their values are and what does make them tick and motivate them each day. It's just a matter of finding those things and helping them plug into that even more in their day, and really preventing those blocks from getting in the way and interrupting that.

Jason Ramsden: 31:14

For more of my positivity quest to follow me at underscore j y Ramsden on Instagram tick tock on Twitter. If you'd like today's episode, please give us a five star rating and review on your favorite podcast app or visit JC comm and search for positivity on fire. Positivity on fire is a production of impact one media LLC. All rights reserved.