53. Facing the Unknown

Our brain wants to protect us. Always, our brain wants to go back to the routines, the things that we know the things that are comfortable, because That's its job. Hi, I'm Jay, a certified life coach and former educator who believes that rediscovering ourselves takes just a little bit of courage. This show is focused on helping you develop the mindset and the courage to regain your confidence to redefine yourself and to reimagine your life one episode at a time. Low Hello, hello, my positivity posse, it is so good to have you back here, Episode 53, we're going to be chatting today about facing the unknown. Now, this could take on lots of different meanings for lots of different folks. But today, I want to focus on facing the unknown when you want to make a change in your life, when you want to maybe do something different with your life, maybe you want to have a different career, maybe you want to move on from where you are right now, maybe you want to change a relationship in your life, if you want to take a look at it from just the point of here I am in the moment, right here, right now. And I want to do something different. There's an unknown about that, right? There's a fear that could arise about that. In my case, it was having had a career for for 30 years in education, and then being forced to almost make a change, not not doing it up front in advance. But making a decision to change. And I said forced and that's not true, I wasn't forced to make a change, I could have easily fallen back into doing the same type of work, finding a new job, but it would have involved commuting an hour. At this stage of my life. I didn't want to do that. And so I decided to pivot into something that was unknown. So what does that process look like when you when you want to make a career transition? We'll use that for today if you want to make a career a career transition, but no, this applies to just No, seriously, this applies to any sort of change when you have to face the unknown of what comes next. But in my case, it was transitioning careers. And when I think back on it, I was having a conversation just yesterday with somebody who asked me how did I get to be where I am right? How did you make the transition from tech leader to to life coach. And as I process that, like when I look back on the whole experience of making the transition and how I landed where I am today, how I faced kind of the unknown of what would come next, when I looked at it at the very core. If I went back through my history of time, I started working in admissions, high school and college admissions, then I moved into being a tech director, and then I moved into being a life coach. And at the very core of all of that was, I was helping people find a better way to move forward. That was the underlying theme. Okay? If I take that, like take the helping people move forward, finding a better way to move forward, helping people decide if that school was right for them, people being kids, right, either high school kids or college kids thinking about a better way to move forward. Because they had to make a decision about if the school was right for them. And I was helping them decide, you know, helping them give him letting them know the value of what that institution I worked for, did for you know could provide for them. Then I moved into the tech world, helping people find a better way to move forward finding better tips and tricks, better ways to be more effective, be better organized, how to move more quickly, how to not be afraid of technology, providing them value, helping them move forward. And now as a life coach, it's the same thing, providing value and helping them move forward. Not when I was going through that process, there was this unknown, right, I made an entire list, an entire list of all the things that I could possibly do, stay in tech, go corporate and start my own business. And when I did start my own business, it was everything. Start my own coffee shop, start my own tech consulting business, open a restaurant, join another firm, and the list went on a while. So there's so many different things that went through my head. What can I do and how can I transition and all of it all of it was unknown to me really, if you look at that list, like I don't have any experience in any of that stuff except for the text tech things. And you know, that felt comfortable but I also knew it wasn't what I wanted to do anymore. I didn't want to be involved in that industry anymore. And that I was okay with that. But I also meant I was going to have to pivot into something totally different. So if you, you, my friend are facing some sort of career transition right now. I get it, I know exactly what you're going through. I have the understanding, having been there and gone through a and not knowing what could come next. So if you're preparing for that, right, now, let's dive into it. Right, you're facing the unknown. And whether you're in your 30s, and you want to pivot, you're in your 40s, you want to pivot or you're in your 50s, or 60s, and you want to pivot and do something different here. If you're older and you're not ready to retire, I get it, I understand, you want to still have value, you still want to be able to do something good with your life, you will still want to contribute. I was searching for that word contribute. But that's what it is. And then when you're not sure of what it is, there's this fear, almost the fear of the unknown. So how do we get over that hurdle? Right? Well, first, we need to talk about what is fear? Exactly. For me, I see fear as just simply a belief that I can't do it, I can't make that change. I can't do something different. I don't know how to do something different. And if you you know, if you've been around the show a lot, you know, I totally believe that contractions kill more dreams than anything else. And I just threw a bunch of those out there. And you may be in that same spot thinking, Well, I can't pivot. I've always done this. This is the industry I've been in. These are the things that I know, this is my network, these are the people that I know. And if I do something different, there's an uncertainty to you about it. I'm not sure how to pivot, I don't know of I can make the type of money that I used to make, I'm not sure I would be able to support my family, I wouldn't have the insurance that I need to have. And if that's you, like if that's where you are at your point, right now, I'd ask yourself, like on a scale of one to 10 On a scale of one to 10. Tell me about your career, Mike, what's that number? And people will like clients of mine will say to me, oh, on a scale of one to 10? Or what do you mean? Is it job satisfaction? Sure. Take job satisfaction as your example, job satisfaction. And they'll say, Oh, well, I have a really good position. I make really good money. So finances are an important part to me. But I'm not. I'm not absolutely fulfilled in what I'm doing. And I will always say to them, alright, listen, let's separate those, you make really good money. That's a part of your life called finances. Right? That's the finance side of your life, the money side of your life. So put that over there. Tell me what that number is. Alright, that's it. 10 great. You make really good money. Awesome. Go to the other side, where you're fulfilled. What is that? Oh, well, it's it's maybe a four or five, five or six? Awesome. What does that tell us? It tells us that you are considering wanting to make a change, great. But you haven't made a change because you don't know how to go about facing the unknown. Facing what comes next. And I get it right. What does our brain do? Our brain wants to protect us. Always. Our brain wants to go back to the routines, the things that we know, the things that are comfortable, because That's its job, right? So your brain is what keeps you safe. You make decisions to keep yourself safe. And so when you when you put it in those terms, right? If you know that your brain is keeping you safe, and you want to make a change, but you're just not sure how to pivot. You're facing the unknown in your life of what's coming up next, you need to really take that opportunity to change your mindset, right to face the unknown head on. And to understand that failure. Failure may happen. And that's okay. It's absolutely Oh, okay. And the key to embarking on any new journey is adjusting your mindset and working through your beliefs. Your beliefs about that it won't be successful, the beliefs about you can't pivot the beliefs that you are unsure of how to move forward, the beliefs that you feel stuck, that you're in a fog, that you have a malaise about you in your current job. And if you use words like that, stuck, fog, malaise, confused, unsure, then it's time to get to work. Literally not the work that you're doing as a job, but to work on yourself to You change the contractions in your life and move on in terms of the belief about you being able to do whatever it is you want to do. And what what might help is this. When we are faced with a change when we're faced with the unknown, we do a lot of what ifs, what ifs? What if I don't succeed? What if I don't like the new career path? What if I've made a bad decision? What if I am not good at what I'm pivot to do? What if? What if? What if let's change that? Alright, let's change that to what might what might happen? If you do do it? What might happen if you are successful? What might happen if you find your purpose and live into it, and do something that you really love? So not What if but what might? One of the things I love to do with my clients? is help them through a scenario of Imagine if? All right, so if we're talking about what if and what might, let's put it in the context of Imagine if Imagine if I didn't pivot from being a tech director to a life coach, imagine if I didn't have the ability to impact more lives. Imagine if I didn't do what I'm doing now. And then when you step back from that, right, when you step back from that, imagine if take it to the next level of what you you could see yourself, so put it in the context of the what might imagine if I could impact hundreds of lives every single day with my content with my podcast. Imagine if I could make a difference in somebody's life. Imagine if I could help somebody find a better way to move forward. And we do the Imagine if process because at the end of it, I asked my clients to say, imagine if I didn't imagine if I didn't help hundreds of people. Imagine if I didn't impact somebody's life. Imagine if I didn't help people find a better way to move forward. Imagine if I didn't do what I'm doing right now. And that totally changes your mindset. It changed my mindset. I run through that pretty frequently, with lots of different things. Imagine if the best parts. And imagine if I didn't do it, if I didn't take the chance, if I didn't face the unknown, if I didn't alleviate the fears around what it means to move forward. Imagine if I'm not doing what I'm doing right now. Because I'm living into my purpose. Because I know that I bring value to others that I know that I help people move forward, that I know that I can help people find the best possible things for them to be doing in their lives, making the best possible decisions and moving forward and becoming the best possible people that they can be. Imagine if I didn't do that. And that quickly becomes a non negotiable for me. So put it in, put it like on you. Like if you are going to make a change. If you're facing a career change, you're not happy with what you're doing. If you're facing a relationship change, you're you're not doing it, put it in the framework, that container of imagine F run through that scenario. Imagine if you had a different relationship. Imagine if you had a different career. Imagine if you were fulfilled like imagine if and then imagine if you weren't. And when you do imagine if you weren't, it puts you right back where you are right now. And that's not progress. As human beings we want to improve. It doesn't matter if it's big change, or small change. Our brains want us to have the best of what we could possibly have in our lives. But it also keeps us from moving forward with that sometimes, because its main job is to protect us. So what are 10 ways that you could face the unknown? Number one, except what is right, if you can change something, then my friends do it. Absolutely. Do it. And I believe you can like it's not if I can, you can. Now yes, there are some things that you can't change. You do not have control over it. But I'm telling you right now you have control over what you do each and every day. And that includes going to work and the job that you have. It includes the relationship that you have and includes the way you go about finances. It includes how you choose to eat, what foods you choose to eat, what you choose to learn What you choose to put in your body, everything is up for change if you can control it. And you know, if you can't, if you can't control it, if it's out of your control, then let it go, right? Let go of the wrist resistance, don't worry about it anymore. Number two, take risks. My God take risks. And that's difficult to do I get it. Because you really do face the unknown when you take risks, but life, my friends is not about having the answers. And taking chances. You do it based upon what you know what's going to happen next. All right. When you consider doing something different, you see it as taking a risk. And all a risk is is a fear of the unknown. A fear of not being able to do what you believe you can do. Okay? Those are beliefs that can change. Every single choice that you make in your life is based on your thoughts and your feelings. And if you could change your thinking around it, and you could change how you feel around it, your actions and your results will be different. Number three, be your own best friend, when things aren't going right when you want to make a change. You can blame other people, you may ask other people for advice. If the advice doesn't go as planned for you, then you can blame somebody else. Right? So be your own best friend, take your own advice, you'll never have better results in your life, asking other people for permission to have better results in your life. Does that make sense? As soon as you can ask somebody else to help you with a problem and you take their advice and it doesn't work out. You have somebody to blame. Alright, so be your own best friend. And do what your best friend would tell you like basically what you would hope your best friend would say to you is that you figure out what comes next for you ask really good questions of yourself. Number four, every single day is a new beginning. Like I believe that every every morning that I am lucky enough to wake up, get out of bed and begin my day. It's it's a new day, it's a new beginning. Right? Even if I've had an entirely crappy day, the day before. And this is this happened just recently. Last week, I was had gone live on one of the social media platforms, it fell incredibly flat. It didn't work and I questioned myself, I questioned whether or not if what I'm doing is what I'm supposed to be doing. And I spine a little bit that day. But the next morning, I got up, I meditated, I reflected on it. I did some belief work. And the next day I you know, next thing I know, I had an amazing day I went live again, on a social media platform. It was a great conversation. I had good conversations with other people that day, there was some momentum, like the energy was different. And that's because I choose every single morning to look at it as a new beginning. Number five, keep falling as long as you pick yourself up. And and we know that right? Pick yourself up by your bootstraps keep falling and falling every time you fall, pick yourself up, right? That's progress. It's, it's not about making mistakes, right? It's not about making mistakes, we make mistakes to learn from them. Okay, learning from them and moving on. So as long as you keep falling and moving forward, you're in a good spot. And you could do that with anything. Anything we mentioned before. The weight loss, the drinking the relationships, the career changes, it's okay. Fall down, get up. Number six, nothing ever lasts forever. Right? Every single moment of your life is something that's not going to last forever. So you need to appreciate it from that mindset. Right? It's not going to happen ever again. It's not going to be forever. The best thing about things. That is this won't last forever, is that it won't. So take that with a little bit, a little bit of like a grain of salt to say, yeah, like I can live in the moment and not worry about it. And so knowing that nothing lasts forever is like if I make a mistake, it's not going to make you know, it's not going to be a mistake for the rest of my life. Right? I can start again, I can start again. Number seven. Think with your heart instead of your head. Like when you come from it from your heart first knowing this is what I want. This is what I want to do. This is the change that I want to make in my life. Right let your heart lead you. Because all your brain is going to do or your or your mind is going to do or your head is going to do is want to protect you. It's going to want to make you comfortable again, it's going to want to like go back to your old routines. So go with your heart. Go with your heart. Number eight, meditate, something I've been doing for 400 plus days straight and If you don't have to, like get deep into meditation, but if you just find time, if you find 10 minutes in the day, just to stop and breathe, to remember why you're on this planet, to remember what's going to kind of push you forward, to take the time for yourself, to clear your head to get your mind clutter, right? That is an important part of facing the unknown as well, he take time for yourself. Number nine, do something for someone else, take it off your plate, it's not always about you. Right? If you make giving back to others a part of your life, even if it is just a smile in the grocery store, to the clerk, or to somebody else in line or somebody that you're passing, just take that moment, take that moment to be a human and connect with other humans. And I say that because facing the unknown is a human behavior. We all do it. That other person may be facing the unknown that day, they may be have a doctor's appointment later in that day, they don't know what the diagnosis is going to be. And it's big for them. But a little smile could go a long way. Number 10 Don't take yourself too seriously. I know life is big. Life is full of big decisions. Life is full of unknowns. But when you stop taking yourself too seriously, when you have a little bit of a good sense of humor, around moving forward in your life around making a change for the better. What happens is your opinions get out of the way, right? You kind of your attitudes change, you have a light, a little bit of a light hearted heartedness around you. And when you do that, when you take the time, right, to face the unknown, with a little bit of a lens of it's not the end of the world. That's when you can move forward. That is when facing the unknown becomes easier. facing the unknown has a lot to do with fear. And fear is simply a belief that you put into either I can or I can't. So what's your choice today, my friends as we wrap up today's show, and you look around making a change in your life. You look at making a career transition, you look at making a change in how you treat your body you're looking at making a change in a relationship. It comes down to I can or I can't and what do you believe? Alright, my friends. As always, thank you so much for being here today. Your time truly is a gift. It's a treasure and I appreciate you taking time out to listen to positivity on fire. Your gift of time does we mean the world to me. And as we end every show, be well be happy, be you. And until the next time may your quest for positivity begin today. Hey, positivity pase if you're ready to coach yourself, I invite you to download my free workbook. Seven Steps to regain, redefine and reimagine your life. Head over to www dot Jason ramsden.com backslash my dash links and click on the download link at the top of the page. It's that simple. And hey, if you're interested in working with me as your own personal life coach, visit Jason ramsden.com and click Get Started in the upper right hand corner of the screen. I hope to talk to you soon until then have an amazing day. Positivity on fire is a production of impact one media LLC. All rights reserved.